Special Occasion Jokes... - Dad Joke Genius

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Special Occasion Jokes...

First drug deal recorded in history.....

What's the problem? It's my joints. They hurt? No, I suck at rolling them.

Is this how you do it? I don't think this is how you do it... Happy 4/20

Daughter: Dad! I'm Higher than you! Dad: I seriously doubt that...

It doesn't matter if you say "yes" or "no" to drugs... If you are talking to drugs, you are already taking them...

Ok, Hold on.... Are you telling me the groundhog is clairvoyant?

I don't know what Coachella is but I hope they find a cure soon...

When the Moon hits your eye, like it's 5:45, That's November!!!!

Employee: (About to invent Daylight Savings Time) Oh you Haven't heard? Boss: You're Late!

The eclipse in the midwest: Moon: Ope!, let me just squeeze right past ya here...

Every time there is an eclipse, my wife wants to travel to the "path of totality" to see it... My wife: This won't happen again for another 150 years! Me: I call bull$#it! I remember one last August. You took pictures...

Everyone I know hates being sung Happy Birthday to... And Everyone I know hates singing it... So what exactly are we doing here?

May the 4th be with you!

Imagine how out of hand it could get if we didn't get hungover?

St. Patrick's Day is on a Sunday this year... Drink as if you don't have to work in the morning.

The people who came up with the business model for Sam's Club and Costco were definitely high... "Let's have hotdogs... and Optometrists!...And Tires!....

How are there 4 strong holidays centered around candy and none around cheese? Seems so unfair...

I may have over done the set up for my April Fool's Joke... My family believes we were going to Disney World for Spring break since Christmas...

If you let them Shenan once, they'll Shenanigan...

"But you ain't got no legs, Anakin?" May the 4th be with you!

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